"When I chose to live, there was no joy, it was just a line I crossed"

I'm not one that traditionally deals with alone time very well. I can be a pretty social person, and I really need to be around other people in order to feel actualized.

But perhaps my latest spate of time with myself has been somewhat good for me. It's given me some time to think about the last year and a half and what it's done to and for me. I'm not really sure that I'm in a better place now than I was back then, but I'm certainly sure that I've at least had some time to think about myself and my place in the world, and more importantly, what I want out of love and life. I've realized, more than ever, that I have a personality type that isn't compatible with everything, and that I et myself up for a lot of the victimization that I bitch about constantly (though I rarely phrase it in terms of victimization).

More than anything, though, it's time that I stopped treating the outside world with the gentle, subtle tone that I wish that it would direct toward me. Obviously, the learning curve on the other side of that equation is too steep, and it just leaves me frustrated and lost.

I don't know where I'd be without my music, though.