Things could be better...

The world has kinda seemed off-kilter for me in the past few weeks/month. I don't know exactly what it is, but I've been finding myself looking for newer and more odd places to do research as of late. I've also been finding myself doing research at the bar more often than is probably strictly healthy. I don't know exactly what it is, but life hasn't been seeming to "click" in that perfect way as of late. My research seems to be inordinately stagnated, and I'm having trouble forcing it to move in a decent direction. Reading papers seems unusally unrewarding for me right now, as well.

Additionally, I seem to be desperately short on money right now, in particular, I could really use a new laptop right now, but that won't be coming for a few months, provided that the university takes it in it's fucking heart to renew my teaching appointment, which apparently is unalterably stuck in the horrible disaster of a class that I am currently teaching, thanks to the whopping $50-$100 more a month I make than the other assignments (for only twice as much time invested in the class! A steal!).

My friends are around, and they are doing relatively well for me, but it's a kind of a temporary cheer-up, usually.

I've been noticing it with the outside world as well--the international news situation is a lot more fucked up than it has been for a long time in recent memory. I have multiple friends that are going through bad to severe life problems right now.

But more than anything, I'm having a really difficult time percieving what my place in the world is at this moment. I just seem kind of perpetually down, and stuck and at this horrible existential impasse that I don't really know how to get out of. '

Fuck, I sound like a 14 year old. Ugh.

Anyway, those of you still around, thanks for listening to my venting. Sorry about the depressing and childish nature of my writing as of late.