The Voyage of Captain Obvious

Grading is satanic

Sunday, August 21, 2005

Light (No) posting...

I will soon be out of the country, and partaking of the best that can be offered by the scion of Arthur Guinness and John Jameson in a multitude of local pubs--AND seeing a lovely, loevely, ancient countryside. So, unless I see something that's just soooo totally awesome, no posting for a while. I'll probably be putting photos up once I get back, though. I'll be camping at the foot of the The Mountains Mourne, so that should create some pretty photoage, so see you later, internet legions!

Monday, August 15, 2005

On why it's rediculous to argue that the next Dem candidate need be a governor

1. The argument that governors always win is absurd and based on a nonexistent sample size. Does anyone remember the Dukakis campaign? Anyone? Any lame candidate with no speaking skills, whether his name is Kerry, Dukakis, Gore or Mondale, will lose. That's all there is to it. Even if this argument were to hold water, I would argue that former secretaries of the treasury are TOTALLY undefeated in presidential campaigns. Therefore, I propose that Robert Rubin should be the next Democratic nominee for presidnet. What? but former sec of the treasurary never lose. We can't trust those governors and their 6/10 chances!

2. As an aside to point 1., disqualifying candidates because of anything biographical is completely stupid, and invariably will make us overlook incredibly good candidates for the sake of living up to meeting our orginal dumbass characteristics. If you like your candidate, fine, but argue for your candidate, not the job profile that will most likely get him or her elected. The focus should be finding someone with an intelligent, fluent, but not superior, speaking style; the focus should be on finding someone with a record that shows that they can govern effectively when elected; the focus should not be on finding someone who has the PERFECT resume.

3. It's pretty nutty to argue that having a clear voting record is a weakness. It should be a good thing that one can look up a candidates stances on things, and their past behavior. If Gore 2000 had attacked Bush for having no clear record, and the fact that his campaign was based on gobbeltygook, then I don't think the Florida disaster would have even been an issue. If Kerry had simply stood up for his record rather than talking around it, he would have made a much better run at Florida and Ohio. Perhaps the goal should be to nominate someone with a clear record, rather than some loser with no record.

4. Governors have tended to be the second shittiest category of president (right after generals--I almost cry when I think about what this country would have been like if we had 8 years of Adlai Stevenson, rather than 8 years of fucking Ike). They have no idea about running a foreign policy, they are awful at communicating with congress (c.f, how bush can't get anything passed in a Republican controlled congress), they alienate the bureaucracy by bringing in all these inefficient dingbats from their state, and they have tended to have extremely unfocused legislative agendas. Reagan may be an exception to this, but he had tendencdies in all of these direction, and he is the one that began the Republican policy of intergenerational warfare, so fuck him.

In summary, I think that the opinion that candidates must be governors is stupid and wrongheaded, and I hate even more that people are using that and a divorce to discount Russ Feingold as a candidate, despite him being among the better guys out there.


Off to go give a final exam to the undergrads. yay. And then a few hours of grading, and I'm done with them, and it's then, get caught up with research and start packing. Once I get my thoughts straight, I plan on having a few more society/political posts up, as my brain has been turning recently. Ah well.

Saturday, August 13, 2005

I know it's hardly a novel idea...

but I HATE you, FOX baseball people. I hate you. Thank you for thinking that the hot Atlanta-Diamondbacks matchup is more interesting than Cardinals-cubs. Certainly that is obvious to most anyone. Ah well, even if the damn game was on, I'd just hear your moron commentators anyway, while some robots are totally hitting home runs/using rockets to rob other robots of home runs. Maybe destroying a few balls with lasers. Stop trying to make baseball into football, stupid fox. I hate you. Oh. rain delay anyway. Ah well, I still hate you, FOX. Your commercials (see below) are also the most annoying.

Thursday, August 11, 2005

silver lining

I thought it was pretty funny when Marquis was brought in to pinch-hit against his former pitching mentor... and came up with a hit. All right guys, DESTROY them tomorrow

Wednesday, August 10, 2005

On rickey henderson

I read about the guy relatively recently (I forget where, or there'd be a link) on one of those lists of people who are HOF-bound. And, like many of these articles that I've read, seemed to pontificate on why the guy should retire and accept his appointment.

I don't agree with this sentiment. I actually really like the old ideal of the player that loses it at the majors, and goes back down and struggles to find it again in the minors, fading away into obscurity... or maybe having a last chance to try again as a late season call-up. It shows a level of dedication not evident in the setiment that modern sports stars have to "retire on top" and "not tarnish their image" or whatever. It should be about the game, not the players' image. Regardless, noone remembers the horrible aging superstar. In 10 years, noone will remember Michael Jordan on the Wizards, or the aging .132 average, 32 homer Mark McGwire (well, on second thought, if the steroid business escalates...). or Bob Gibson's 1975 season. "Retiring while on top" is stupid. It says that the player is more important than the game. If you can still play, you're getting paid to play a kids game, and play, dammit*.

The fact that Rickey plays on is something that I actually find inspiring and surprisingly human from the most brash, arrogant, spiteful and obnoxious player of his era, who, while on top, had such a toxic personality that despite HOF ability, no team could bear to keep around longer than a couple of years. But now, he's just a guy playing baseball, hanging around when there is no reason to, other than to play, and maybe try and capture some of the old glory days again. It's a lot harder to hate the guy anymore.

*the exception to this is guys like Will Clark, who for all purposes, was probably finished, and happened to find himself some of that magic again, living on what was really borrowed time and a league change. Will the Thrill gets a magic season and another playoff appearance, and I say Huzzah! to you!

Thursday, August 04, 2005


I'm so glad I only saw that game on gameday, particularly with Einar Diaz twice playing the rally killer. At least they kept it exciting, and you can't really blame the suppinator, he did what he was paid to do, I guess. But that bottom of the lineup group is muder during this 'everyone's hurt' phase...

Additionally, you've gotta love this guy, even if he got the save against the cards last night:

That has got to be the best (read: most absurd) facial hair I've seen on a player for a long, long time. Maybe Al Hrabosky beat him, but I think that's more the crazy face expression than the actual hair.

Maybe we can find an opposing player out there with an actual handelbar wax moustasche. He could challenge Jim Edmonds to fisticuffs after a homerun, jimmy could respond by insulting Charles Garfield, responding that, as a Half-Blood, he is a Chester A. Arthur man.

Why is it always relief pitchers that have the rediculous facial hair? is it an effort to be noticed whilst performing this job in which it is difficult to get noticed? Does the pressure make people totally insane (maybe, c.f. Rocker, John). anyway, awesome job on that 'stasche, Todd Jones. You are my hero

Tuesday, August 02, 2005

Deep questions

If you're a deeply religious person, do you cheer for the Padres, Cardinals, or Angels?

Why won't MLB move the Pirates to the AL West so that they can start a rivalry with the Mariners?

Monday, August 01, 2005

A Note to Madison Avenue

Dear Madison Avenue,

I understand that you pay for the "fine" entertainment that I recieve for free over the public's airwaves, and that you have bought the right to put whatever you want in the space between segments of crappy shows. Regardless, I have some pieces of advice for you on how to both best use this time you've bought, and to not make me want to go on a rampage down your street.

1)Stop reinventing shit that has worked well since time immemorial. I dont' want my fucking shaving experince to be a high tech flight through the danger zone. I just want to get rid of my damn hair. That's it. Mission accomplished using crap availible in the 60s. You too, toothbrush people. Stop. Current stuff works fine. You are just pissing me and everyone else off when you try to convince us that our current toothbrush is somehow inadequate.

2)You might think that your pitch is more convincing the 10,000th time that someone hears it, but in fact, it is much, much less convincing. If I hear someone screech "yeow, that's hot" from my fuckning TV one more time, I will not be responsible for my actions. It makes me wish I ate meat just so I could boycott the stupid place for the specific reason that the damn ad is trying to kill my brain. You don't want your target audience feeling this way about your company. actually, you want the opposite, or you wouldn't be advertising

3)Don't advertise drugs that have suicide as a "side effect", targeting people that don't really need them. In general, stop advertising goddamn prescription drugs. Let the doctors tell their patients what prescriptions they need. And a general fuck you to the makers of Wellbutrin for inspiring point 3). Depressed people are the last ones that should be fucking self-medicating.

4)On the topic of drugs, how about cutting back on the rediculous cartoons of the pepto covering my stomach, or the ss. nautilus sailing around my goddamn bloodstream, or insects inside my toe getting crushed with pills. Who does this convince? I, for one, am really freaked out at the prospect of having a little ship sailing around me that has a crisis with every goddamn time I burp or have indigestion. And I really don't want little white pills crushing random shit inside my body. I'm very happy with the stuff inside my body. Drug people, take a fucking hint from the NyQuil people--a before photo of sick people, an after photo of people sleeping. That's all that's fucking necessary to communicate your message.

anyway, sorry about the rant, but I had to get that off of my chest. Post your favorite annoying ad habits if you wish...